Today has been one of those days. It started way to early, 5:30 am if I am correct and became the day of shussing the boys and praying for more patience than I am capable of possessing. It’s not their faults, I repeated as I continually reminded myself that I am in charge of the way I feel. But after the grocery store chaos- read a superhero cape and a shopping cart- I was drained. In fact, I still am. Sometimes I feel like the bad days outweigh the good. I know all moms feel this way some days and for me today is that day.
Begrundgingly I loaded all of the groceries into the car and then I took a deep breath. Thankfully, the store is a mile from our home and once all the kids were taken out of their car seats, I started the ritual of loading up my arms with a million grocery bags, each weighing at least 10 pounds. What came next, I’m not proud of. Big D asked what was for lunch and as I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders- read 4 Kroger bags full of cereal and fruit, I lost it. I screamed at him and told him to stop asking. I was tired and drained. I headed inside, cleaned the fridge, and began to unload the grocery bags.
After all of the work I desperately needed a chance to sit down and breath but instead I stared at the avacodos on the counter and decided that chips and gucamole would work. After cutting up the tomatoes and taking out the avacado, Big D returned and apologized for making me upset. It was then that I knew it would all be ok.
It was at that moment that I remembered that all Jesus asks of us is to forgive. He asks us to love one another and to forgive and after hearing the words, “I’m Sorry,” from a five-year-old, I knew that Jesus doesn’t ask us to be perfect. In fact, he loves us despite our imperfections. After apologizing and letting my sweet Big D know that I was also sorry, I looked at him and knew just how much Jesus loves us. He loves us so much that even on those days, the stressful and extra long days, that he loves us. He shows his love in the form of a five-year-old who forgives and hugs his mom. He shows his love to us when we need it the most. Today started off on the wrong foot but because of Jesus’ love and my son’s forgiveness, I am looking forward to it ending on a high note.