Learning to Love – When Siblings Collide

Every morning- ok not every morning but it feels like it- I am awoken by Big D and Little D screaming at each other. Usually it is because one child wants to watch Wild Kratts and the other is ok with Daniel Tiger. Usually it resolves itself with a little hitting and a lot of crying from both kids. Today the screaming got louder and I got creative.


Each of my darling little boys is the spitting image of their mother. They, like me, are so stubborn that it has taken hours to get ready for a trip to the store. I’ve learned some tricks along the way but with Little D getting better at pouting, my tricks have had to evolve. Don’t get me wrong I give choices and I try to see his side of the story but lately he is more stubborn than ever.

So this morning I had had enough. After the wild banshee screaming and the crying of he hit me and I was trying to tell hims, I gave up and made each boy go to their room. I wanted them to cool off but more importantly, I wanted to cool off. Sometimes having three kids and meeting their needs is exhausting. Not every day but some days like today. I went in my room showered and prayed.

I prayed for guidance and for wisdom. And then I asked myself, “What do I want them to learn.” I made my bed and while it was quiet I knew the answer. I want my boys to love one another. I want them to be kind and respectful and have fun together. So I got creative.

After getting Little D from his room and going into Big D’s room, I sat the boys down and explained how disappointed I was in their actions towards each other. And then I dropped them bomb, I simply let them know that they were going to learn to serve each other. Sometimes loving another person is a sacrifice and it is really hard to get along. At the ages of 5 and 2, the boys are learning boundaries and about space.

Having siblings allows the boys to learn how to negotiate. Serving one another allows the boys to learn how to show their love and reminds them that the world does not in fact revolve around them. Soon enough, they will learn that the people can be so mean and nasty to each other. So right now in this house, the boys will learn how to love, how to be kind, and more importantly that having a best friend, who is your sibling is such an amazing gift.

Right now all is quiet in the house. Their hour of tv in the moring was taken away for the rest of the week, and as I type this both boys are building Legos together. Someday when they really need each other, I hope they remember that they have a best friend who loves them, and hopefully that will be their brother.



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