I am writing this series to let you know how much I love you. Being your mother has changed me in so many ways and has helped me to learn more and more about myself. Five years ago, your brother introduced me to motherhood and four months ago you my sweet little girl changed my world in a completely different way.
Baby G I grew up without my mother and there is so much I would love to ask her and so much that I wonder about. I know what it feels like to feel lost and abandoned. When my mom left part of my innocence about love and a family died that day. I learned to deal with feelings of what ifs and why dids.
My daughter, for you, I wish better. I want to make this solemn promise that I will do better than my mother did for me. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. No matter what happens in my life, I will always be a part of yours. I will be there when you meet your first best friend and when you learn to swim. I will be there when you start your period and for your first heartbreak. I promise to never stop you from doing your very best at everything you try.
Please know that being your mother is my first priority. When I found out I was pregnant with a girl I prayed so hard that God would help me to not be afraid to be your mother. I spent countless nights fearing that I would be my mother and while I know I won’t be, I am still scared. You see the thing that makes me different from my mother is that I will never stopping praying for you and for me. I pray God equips me with all of the grace and patience that I need to be your mother. While you will never know your grandmother, your children will never want. I will be there when you call me at 3 am because you are so exhausted from all of the crying. I will be there to answer questions and to help with whatever you need.
Baby G, there will be days that we butt heads and days when you slam the door in my face. I know there will be days when one or both of us cries but please believe me when I say, you my dear will always have a mother, a friend, someone who believes in you when you doubt yourself. Dear Baby G, the day you were born, I stopped believing that I couldn’t mother you and asked God to teach me every day.